1. You have opened my heart and for that I will be forever grateful. I will never bother buying a lotto ticket again as I know, without a doubt, that all of my luck has been used up in finding you. You truly are an incredible man and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I promise to try to remember not to leave my clothes on the floor. I promise to try to only eat huge amounts of baked beans on the weekends. But most of all, above everything else, I promise to love you with all of my heart, every single day for the rest of our lives.

2. I Chris, choose you, Heather to be my life partner. In front of our friends and family here today I promise to cherish, respect and love you through good and tough times. I promise to try to remember to replace the toilet roll when it’s finished and to put down the toilet seat. I will remember this day with lots of love and I promise to always look after you. I will love you for eternity.

3. I Annie, take you, Daniel, as my partner in life and with our friends and family with us here today I promise to love and cherish you through whatever we may face on our path through life. I promise to learn how to refill the windshield washer fluid when it runs out and to change a tire. I will always be here to comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. I will remember this day with tender love always, just like I will always love you.

4. I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you. I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise to keep you in the latest Cubs fashions. From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day and will always have plenty of potato chips on hand. I will love you for richer or poorer, as long as our credit limit stays high.

5. I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog, Spot. From this day forward, I will lint roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits. I promise to cuddle with you as much as I do Spot and pick you up treats whenever he gets some, too.

6. I John, take you, Mary to be my lawfully wedded wife. 
To be together in happiness and strife, 
 to have and to hold, 
even if your cooking grows mold. 
I love you in richness and in debt, 
 and cherish all moments since we have met. 
 I promise to love you until the end of my days, 
as long as you stay out of my footy plays. 
 I pledge to be faithful
, even when we're old and dull.

7. I John, choose you, Karen, to be my wife. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout the good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I will love you always.

8. I Mark, take you, Jane, to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold and to be financially responsible for from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Bride: I Jane, take you, Mark, to be my lawfully wedded husband... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for when you buy all those expensive toys…